From mind to web
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I was doing some cleaning up while trying to track down something in my house and came across quite a few things from my past. These things included (but not limited to) journals, pictures, ticket stubs, notes and cards. I took the time to really look through every single one of them and relived the memories and moments attached to each item. I was reminded of all the great things I’ve done for others, how I’ve impacted those close to me, and how I such great times.
I always say to not dwell on the past and rather focus on the future, but from time to time it’s good to look at brought us to where we are today. So to everyone I may have had the pleasure of knowing, from baristas & cashiers to friends and significant others..
… Thank you. You’ve shaped who I am and I can only hope my impact on your life/day was just as helpful.
I need to get out more with friends, I’m becoming too confined because of school and work. While yes, I do converse with friends at work, school and over messages/Skype, but I don’t feel as though I’m social enough. Trying to establish a relationship, manage a balance between work and school, and still being around those whom I can be myself around is trying on my well being. I think there can be so much more, and maybe that’s affecting my views of my current situation in life. As previously stated I’m really not much for solidarity (not strictly in relationships, I’ve done that long enough) because I enjoy company.
Maybe this blurb is coming up because in less than a week I will be alone in a house for a while. While I can easily trick myself by turning on a radio, it’s just not the same. I’ll probably venture out on my nights off just to see friends, for however short a time that will get me. I’m hoping maybe even getting to spend some time with Amanda, a movie night in will quench my yearning because it’s been almost a month since we’ve last gone out.
I’m a man of many wisdoms that I’ve passed on to select friends and family, but some times a wise man needs some escape. Maybe I just need to sit down and talk face to face for a while with someone, all I know is these coming weeks will be stressful for me but I’m sure if I find my muse I’ll survive it. Here’s hoping.
:: Random Thoughts ::
From time to time there are just songs that really strike a chord (no pun) with me. As of lately, this song “Somebody That I Used To Know” has featured some lyrics that I think reflect some of my feelings about some people I used to know. This isn’t directly related to courting relationships, as the song implies, but relations with others in general. Over the years I have either changed how I used to be or these others have drastically changed, or both. There are those who I used to confide in, or would confide in me, and somehow this has changed and is no longer the case. More times than not I find myself out of the circle of information, or told to not inform people.
First week was a success, minus the fact that due to the support staff being on strike I was unable to get my schedule fixed of 1 conflict in it. That’s all for school update.
First week was interesting in a way because I ran into someone I was hoping I wouldn’t have to, had reality kick me in the face, and then reality set in.
Apologies if this seems scattered or misguided, as this night goes on it has become harder to keep focused. Pretty much is a night alone in an empty house with my thoughts and a 24. Maybe it’s me taking advantage of things I should resist come Monday, maybe it’s just how I coup during my solitude. There are some things even I can’t answer, how do you / how should I spend my time of solitude?
